Easter and Trauma

Integrating the field of psychology into a Catholic framework is not an easy task when the founder of the field (Freud) wrote, “Much will be gained if we succeed in transforming hysterical misery into common unhappiness.” Catholicism is concerned with becoming human – fully human – and therefore fully alive. The end of Catholicism is happiness beyond our wildest dreams, not just “common unhappiness.” While this ultimate joy is not experienced until we reach...

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Emotional Pornography

pornography relationships Jan 15, 2020

Sex sells. Marketing in our culture is almost exclusively based on sex. We have known this for years, and although we think we are stronger than corporate marketing strategies, we (men) still fall easy prey to GoDaddy super bowl ads and Victoria’s Secret ceiling-high mall pinups. When I say “easy prey,” I don’t mean we all necessarily go home lusting after these pictures and falling into sin, but somehow there is a movement of something in us. And I say, rightly so!...

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Break Ya Neck

Before I transferred to Franciscan University, I was a freshman at Boston College. My good friend Colin was in seminary next door at St. John’s, and we used to exercise together at BC’s workout facility called the Plex. That was the Jubilee year and a time of deep conversion for me. Colin and I encouraged each other in becoming better men of God in many ways that year. Along with our workouts, one of our most important exercises in virtue also took place at the gym.

The weight...

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Is it Love?

relationships Jan 13, 2020

It’s pretty obvious to anyone with a pulse over the age of 12 that there is a major difference between infatuation and love. The words, “I love you” though, seem to still get thrown around in a lot of different ways, especially in the movies with relationships developing in less than two hours. The phrase there doesn’t carry the same weight as the couple that says it to each other after 50 years of marriage. Although it is wrong to think of infatuation as love, it is...

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Giving Up for Lent

faith Jan 12, 2020

As a freshman in college, I was excited about my new-found freedom. I had an innate sense that this was my time, the year I could start to be my own person and choose my own life. Above all else, like everyone else, I wanted to be happy. For a while, I tried joining my friends in their pursuits of happiness – in typical college fashion. I noticed pretty quickly, however, that even if a freshman did make his way into the best senior party with the best looking girls, he was still...

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50 Shades of Love in a Hopeless Place

abuse Jan 11, 2020

You may have read in the news that Chris Brown was brought to court because he allegedly did not complete his community service hours; the punishment he received after beating Rihanna four years ago.  Rihanna, having 2 weeks prior publically announced she was back together with the singer, was in the courtroom to support her “man.”

Picking up garbage from the side of the highway doesn’t seem just retribution for bruising and bloodying a woman by punching her in the...

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Logically Speaking

I was going to post this week on how to be a man.  There’s a lot that our Church teaches about manhood and virtue, the Theology of the Body is brimming over with lessons to learn, and I certainly have endless examples from therapy of the suffering caused by a lack of manhood.  I realized though that every week there is a new “5 ways to…” post on everything from dating tips to how to strap in a baby in a car seat.  I think they’re great, and...

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A Match Made in Heaven

relationships Jan 09, 2020

I married the love of my life.  I met the one woman in the world chosen for me from all eternity, handpicked by God for her perfect combination of beauty, wit, charm, intelligence, and the very rare quality of being able to put up with my weaknesses and somehow love me even more for them.  I am constantly humbled by her, because many times a week I realize yet another one of those imperfections.  That is not to say she points them out to me, because she rarely does. ...

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Who Would Win - Chuck Norris or the Dos Equis Guy?

masculinity Jan 08, 2020

Every day I take the subway to my office and I spend a few minutes staring at the ads in the train.  On the NYC trains, one company sometimes buys all of the ad space in one car.  One of my favorites to get into has a full car-length of Jameson whiskey ads.  You’ve probably seen them on TV as well (“This is a tale of the most formidable beast on earth, and the giant octopus that tried to take his whiskey.”) I recently found myself wondering who would win in a...

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Loneliness or Solitude?

I am now 17 days away from getting married. Everyone has a unique and perfectly planned path to get to this point, and God led me through some really amazing experiences to prepare me for this.

I think one of the most important lessons He’s taught me is that my beautiful fiancée will not satisfy the deepest longings of my heart.  That’s right, I know what I said, and no she won’t be mad that I said it.  In fact, she feels the same way about me!...

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