Proposing Love

Misguided ideas about gender and sexuality have infiltrated schools, homes, families, marriages, parishes, and communities, causing many Catholics to feel lost in how to approach conversations related to those topics. 

The possibility for conflict and tension around these subjects is high, and our tendency is usually to do one of two things: ignore/avoid those who think differently than we do OR beat them over the head with objective truth in an effort to ease our consciences. 

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The Darkness of Time and the Light of Faith

anxiety faith trust Nov 01, 2023

In his encyclical Lumen Fidei, Pope Francis talks about faith as being a guiding light for us. I remember reading it with my psychology lenses on, and thought I'd share a few thoughts I had, especially as we now find ourselves in such dark times.

The introduction to the encyclical reminds us that Christ says, “I have come as a light into the world, that whoever believes in me may not remain in darkness.” It is this distinction between the light and the...

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Should I Want to Feel Invisible?

faith identity prayer Oct 02, 2023

 

"Where is the line between praying to “go unnoticed” and really wanting not to feel invisible or forgotten about?”

This question was asked by a member of our Integrated Life community during a Live I once hosted in which we were talking about humility. Her question related specifically to the line in the Litany of Humility in which we pray “that others may be praised and I go unnoticed.” It's an important question, but a tough one to answer!

Maybe you...

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St. Therese: Just a Cute Saint?

anxiety faith trust Sep 22, 2023


St. Therese is generally regarded as a cute saint.

In her autobiography, she wrote the types of things that might make adults quip, “Kids say the darndest things! Isn’t she adorable?”

Therese wrote that she desired to spend her time in heaven sending roses to people on earth. Cute.

She did happen to be a very cute little French girl, that's true. But she also wrote with the boldness of someone who didn’t seem to care what anyone else thought. And if you take a few...

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Become Who You Are

 

It's easy to fall into thinking in “once/then” terms when it comes to holiness. 

This kind of thinking can sound like "Once I figure out my vocation, then I can really pursue sanctity!" or "Once I get married, then I’ll get serious about my faith." or "Once the kids get older, then I’ll start praying more regularly." 

Thinking in this way reveals an underlying belief in an insidious lie though. The lie tells us that until our life circumstances...

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Is it Love?

*updated on 9/5/2023

It’s pretty obvious to anyone with a pulse over the age of 12 that there is a major difference between infatuation and love. 

Still, the words “I love you” seem to get thrown around a lot. For instance, certain popular rom-com movies show relationships developing in less than two hours! In that context, “I love you” doesn’t exactly carry the same weight as a couple who says it to each other after 50 years of marriage. 

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How to Spot Emotional Abuse

 *Blog post updated on 8/28/2023 

If I just love him enough, he’ll change.
If I just treat her well enough, things will get better.
If I just let it go this time, they’ll figure it out and won’t do it again.

If you’ve ever known someone in an abusive relationship, these phrases will sound all-too-familiar. 

While physical abuse is more overt and easy to recognize, emotional or psychological abuse proves more complicated and difficult to pinpoint. A...

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The Key to Resolving Conflict

Consider the last argument or disagreement you had with a loved one. 

During that emotionally charged conversation, did you find yourself creating a case in your head for why the person you were arguing with was wrong? 

Were you more focused on making a mental note of all the ways you could prove to that person how and why you were right? 

Or maybe you were on the opposite end of that scenario and, while sharing your thoughts or opinion, could tell the person you were talking...

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Worry: The Fifth Superpower of the Female Brain

You might be surprised to learn that the final post in the series about feminine brain strengths is actually about worry! As a psychologist, I rarely talk about worry as a strength.

I should qualify here that I am talking about a little worry, not to be confused with the excessive worry that constitutes anxiety. (In fact, I don’t like using the word worry, but there is great value in being able to see certain tendencies as part of a spectrum and not necessarily entirely different...

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Stayin' Alive: The Fourth Superpower of the Female Brain

Before diving in to the next "superpower" of the female brain, let's go through a few statistical facts about women:

  • A little over 10 years ago, only 7% of the entire prison population in the US was female;
  • There is a significantly higher rate of Antisocial Personality Disorder among men as compared to women; 
  • Research shows that women are generally better at keeping strong negative emotions in check, and when a woman does act on her negative emotions, she will more often attack...
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