The Porn Pandemic

pornography Jan 28, 2020

Most people agree that pornography is not socially acceptable. No one thinks people should talk to their parents about porn or bring it up with friends. There is an inherent sense that guys probably shouldn’t talk to women about it. Sometimes there is pressure for women to accept the fact that guys watch porn, and go along with the “Everyone does it” attitude. In their hearts though, not many women like to think about their husbands, boyfriends, or guys who might be looking...

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On Having a Baby

parenting Jan 27, 2020

My wife gave birth to our first son, Elijah. This event has turned my life upside down.

What I thought I knew before was only a shadow of knowledge, and what I felt before was only a shadow of feeling. I have been hesitant to blog about this up until now because I was paralyzed by the fact that I could never capture the beauty and mystery and intoxication and sheer terror of bringing a new human life into the world. I have come to peace with my literary inadequacy though, and don’t...

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The Pope and I, a Sinner

homosexuality Jan 26, 2020

First of all let me begin with what this article is not. It is not a response to the media distortions of the memorable interview with Pope Francis. There are enough authors out there already filling that space. I’d rather focus on what Pope Francis actually is saying to me as one of his flock, and admit that maybe there is something here to personally grow from. Second of all, this article is not advocating or in any way considering a “change of Church teaching.” If...

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Last Female Superpower - Why Should I Worry?

You might be surprised to learn that the final post in the series about feminine brain strengths is actually about worry. As a psychologist, I rarely talk about worry as a strength. I should qualify here that I am talking about a little worry, not to be confused with the excessive worry that constitutes anxiety. In fact, I don’t even like using the word worry, but there is great value in being able to see certain tendencies as part of a spectrum and not necessarily entirely different...

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The Forth Female Brain Superpower - Stayin' Alive

femininity Jan 24, 2020

Some statistical facts about women: As of 10 years ago, only 7% of the entire prison population in the US was female. There is a significantly higher rate of Antisocial Personality Disorder among men as compared to women. Research shows that women are better at keeping strong negative emotions in check; when a woman does act on her negative emotions, she will more often attack verbally rather than physically. Women also generally live longer than men. 

Another interesting fact? The...

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With Our Powers Combined: Collaboration, the Third Superpower

femininity Jan 23, 2020

On the train this morning on the way into the office there was a female conductor. I’ve travelled with a female conductor driving the train once before, and both times ended the same way. On the intercom as we reached our destination, the conductor concluded her comments with, “Have a great day everyone, and thank you crew for your work.” The only two times the conductor thanked the crew in the past two months were the two times the conductor was female – and they were...

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The Female Brain - The Second Superpower

femininity Jan 22, 2020

We continue the series this week on differences in the female brain that give it an edge over the male brain in particular functions. Last time I talked about intuition and the neural networking of white matter that allows for a greater reach across different areas of the brain and more sources of information.

This post is about empathy. Empathy is the ability to recognize and share in other peoples’ experiences. It is the ability to “put yourself in someone else’s...

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The Female Brain - What's Your Superpower?

femininity Jan 21, 2020

With today’s post I am starting a series on the female brain. Fortunately there is a ton of research out there to rely on instead of just offering musings from my own experience. I don’t know how much experience is required for a man to feel competent on his own to comment on the female brain, but I assure you I have not reached it. Instead I will be relying on the work of Dr. Daniel Amen, among others, who has compiled the world’s largest databases of SPECT brain images...

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The Darkness of Time and the Light of Faith

faith Jan 20, 2020

In Pope Francis' encyclical On Faith (Lumen Fidei) there is probably enough material to keep me writing for weeks. Obviously I read it with my psychology lenses on.

The introduction to the encyclical reminds us that Christ says, “I have come as a light into the world, that whoever believes in me may not remain in darkness.” It is this distinction between the light and the dark that I want to elaborate on.

What we first have to realize is that Christ entered a dark world. What was...

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What's with This Skype Therapy Anyway?

It’s really interesting how many people are curious about therapy over Skype and how many questions I get about it. Admittedly, it was tough at first to decide whether or not to offer video-based counseling. I had many of the same questions myself. After 8 months of providing therapy over Skype, I want to offer some of my (developing) thoughts.

First of all, the most obvious question concerns the lack of personal connection. This question goes much deeper into an issue about technology...

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