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The One Most Important Quality to Look for in a Spouse

relationships Feb 04, 2020

There are so many lists of tips and tricks for dating, and so many opinions on what to look for in a spouse that I decided to boil everything down to one very simple idea. This comes after my many, many, um, months of living the married vocation, so it is clearly based on deep wisdom and experience. Actually it is based on philosophy, theology, and the hundreds of combined years of patients’ lives that have been shared with me in the therapy office, but my (18 months) of married life...

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2 Steps to a Perfect Valentine's Day (For Everyone)

relationships Feb 02, 2020

This month brings with it one of the most loved and hated days of the whole year- Valentine’s Day. Of course it is a Hallmark creation that most of society eats up hook, line, and sinker, but it is a real part of our society nonetheless. There are bound to be as many sales on roses and chocolates as lists of things to do for singles and reasons to not want a relationship. Valentine’s day can draw a stark dividing line between those in love and those in want.

While it is sad that...

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Let's Talk About Sex

relationships Feb 01, 2020

I will admit, I did not watch the Grammy’s last night. However as I perused Facebook news for my daily 10-minute catch-up I found out about the Queen Latifah wedding event that took place on stage.

Included in these newsfeeds were scathing articles announcing (once again) the destruction of mankind as we know it. Other people saw this as a beautiful witness to the openness of humanity and love and wanted to throw it in the face of “extremists” who don’t agree. It is...

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Hanging Out is Easier Than Dating

relationships Jan 29, 2020

It seems that dating for Catholics in big cities is a frustrating and difficult experience. After living in DC for five years, and now being in NYC, I see certain common trends, and I imagine such complaints can be heard in other areas of the country as well. I’m definitely interested in finding out so please comment and respond if you have any thoughts to share after reading this article.

In my clinical work I find myself often helping young adults navigate the difficult course of...

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Emotional Pornography

pornography relationships Jan 15, 2020

Sex sells. Marketing in our culture is almost exclusively based on sex. We have known this for years, and although we think we are stronger than corporate marketing strategies, we (men) still fall easy prey to GoDaddy super bowl ads and Victoria’s Secret ceiling-high mall pinups. When I say “easy prey,” I don’t mean we all necessarily go home lusting after these pictures and falling into sin, but somehow there is a movement of something in us. And I say, rightly so!...

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Break Ya Neck

Before I transferred to Franciscan University, I was a freshman at Boston College. My good friend Colin was in seminary next door at St. John’s, and we used to exercise together at BC’s workout facility called the Plex. That was the Jubilee year and a time of deep conversion for me. Colin and I encouraged each other in becoming better men of God in many ways that year. Along with our workouts, one of our most important exercises in virtue also took place at the gym.

The weight...

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Is it Love?

relationships Jan 13, 2020

It’s pretty obvious to anyone with a pulse over the age of 12 that there is a major difference between infatuation and love. The words, “I love you” though, seem to still get thrown around in a lot of different ways, especially in the movies with relationships developing in less than two hours. The phrase there doesn’t carry the same weight as the couple that says it to each other after 50 years of marriage. Although it is wrong to think of infatuation as love, it is...

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Logically Speaking

I was going to post this week on how to be a man.  There’s a lot that our Church teaches about manhood and virtue, the Theology of the Body is brimming over with lessons to learn, and I certainly have endless examples from therapy of the suffering caused by a lack of manhood.  I realized though that every week there is a new “5 ways to…” post on everything from dating tips to how to strap in a baby in a car seat.  I think they’re great, and...

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A Match Made in Heaven

relationships Jan 09, 2020

I married the love of my life.  I met the one woman in the world chosen for me from all eternity, handpicked by God for her perfect combination of beauty, wit, charm, intelligence, and the very rare quality of being able to put up with my weaknesses and somehow love me even more for them.  I am constantly humbled by her, because many times a week I realize yet another one of those imperfections.  That is not to say she points them out to me, because she rarely does. ...

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